I understand why he did it, but the fact is, he lied to me. My ex-husband who claims to be my best friend lied to me about his plans for the weekend- like I would honestly believe that he was going camping, alone, with no electronics. When I pushed the issue and asked him where he was meeting HER I uncover the most ridiculous plan...
He works from 4am-noon, he will leave on Friday and drive 12 hours to meet her for one night at cheap hotel then drive the 12 hours back so he can be at work on Monday.... oh wait.... it gets better- He never took care of his insurance issue so he will be driving an unregistered car...oh wait there is more.... He isn't telling his family (obviously,) but he has asked them for money to help him move into a cheaper apartment.
On the other side of the dysfunction, She is currently separated (no, not divorced) and has lied to her parents so that they will watch her three month old son overnight.... Might I add that she lives with them, a real winner :-P
Though I have obviously felt the pang of this "In my face," confirmation of their affair. I'm actually okay. I feel a little jealous, but only in the way that there were no grand gestures for me. He could not be the man that I needed, but I see him struggling to be that man for her. I realize that I'm not in love with him, I just wish I didn't second guess everything that happened over the five years we were married. He was talking to her while I was pregnant with his child... was I just a stand in for the life he wanted? Does it matter if I was?
I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that whether he meant to or not he walked into a marriage as a ploy to get her back in his life and unfortunately the kids and I were collateral damage.
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